“Giving is itself a voluntary sign of recognition. And returning out of gratitude (reconnaissance), is a gift that echoes the first giver’s recognition (reconnaissance)”       Margaret Visser (Howells, 2012, p. 77)

I was very relieved to read this quote by Margaret Visser in Gratitude in Education: a radical view (Howells, 2012), because it was a belief I mentioned in my first blog, but one I had begun to question over the first five weeks. Two events happened, in quick succession, that reinforced my belief in the cyclical nature of gratitude.

The first: Christmas in the East, which I mentioned in my last blog.

The second: A teacher, from a feeder high school, returned from a visit to the toilets and showed me a picture she had taken on her phone. It is the picture in this blog, of a random act of kindness (RAK), which has affirmative messages for the person using the toilet, to take and enjoy or pass on. I made a mental note to go and take a snap myself but it took me a few days to get around to it. When I went to look, I couldn’t find the sign and thought it may have been removed. I had recognised the handwriting, so I called into M’s office. She mentioned that the sign was inside the cubicle…but then told me the story behind the RAK. In the ladies toilet of the Melbourne City Hall (which apparently is a pretty aesthetic toilet, which M visits each time she is in Melbourne), she came across this concept. Someone had left a message saying that she loved living in Melbourne, and that she wanted everyone who visited the toilet to share her joy, and had left cards with affirmations for them to take and share. M was so grateful for this random act of kindness (and it something she celebrates and performs regularly) that she decided to pay it forward, to ‘return out of gratitude’ the gift she had been given. I see her actions as being as Carol Rodgers and Miriam Raider-Roth stated “the ability to respond with a considered and compassionate best next step” (Howells, 2012, p. 83). M experienced the joy that this display of gratitude engendered in her, and decided to take the ‘best next step’ to give another the opportunity to experience that gratitude.

Howells, K (2012), Gratitude in Education: a radical view. Rotterdam: Sense.

Kindness or Gratitude?

 “…helps to start with gratitude in areas where it is easy to practise, and then build upon our practice to approach the more difficult challenges we find in life.” (Howells, 2012, p. 71)

 

During the course of the past week, the Kindness Advent Calendar presented on facebook. I read a few of the entries and decided that this was something I could do. Some of the days will be ‘…easy to practise…’ (Howells, 2012, p. 71) - such as Dec 7, as I am already an organ donor, others will require me to ‘…build upon [my] practise…’ (Howells, 2012, p. 71), for example Dec 16 - be the one to shift a negative conversation or gossip into something positive. I may need to explain (to myself), as Emily needed to explain to her colleagues who “…felt that I wasn’t supporting them.” (Howells, 2012, p. 74) that I am still supportive of a colleagues concerns, but am also looking for ways to change the negatives into solutions.

Last night (Dec 3) I volunteered for the first time at a community event: Christmas in the East. This event has been offered, for a number of years by a combination of community groups, as a Christmas celebration for the Devonport community and is held in the major lower socio-economic area of Devonport. Free buses transported people to and from housing commission areas a few kilometres away. Every activity at this event is free: food, drink, cupcake decorating, glitter tattoos, pony cart rides, circus activities and zorb balls. All is donated or purchased by community funds. Every person there is treated equally. The gratitude that was evident was amazing, both by those attending the event and by those providing the event. Participants wanting to know who organises the event and asking for their thanks to be passed to organisers. I had people enquire about volunteering for the group I was representing. And most obviously, the gratitude being repaid by attendees, who ensured that almost all rubbish ended up in bins. This event demonstrated to me “….the large impact our small acts of gratitude can make on others’ lives, can lead to greater love of ourselves and a greater motivation to continue with our practice.” (Howells, 2012, p. 71)

Finally, I feel grateful that I have a belief “…that accepts that we are not perfect, and so we have no right to judge or criticise others or, importantly, ourselves.” (Howells, 2012, p. 71). This belief makes the concept that one small change can make a difference; but with no guarantee that we will have the pleasure of witnessing this difference.

Howells, K (2012), Gratitude in Education: a radical view. Rotterdam: Sense.

Make today happy. Act of Kindness #24: Kindness Advent Calendar. Retrieved December 4, 2016, from http://maketodayhappy.co.uk/

The Advocate. (2015, Dec 6). Christmas in the East | pictures, photos. Retrieved December 4, 2016, from http://www.theadvocate.com.au/story/3540468/christmas-in-the-east-pictures-photos/#slide=9